I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
