he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Can I color on your dick again?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
