I heard we made out
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
