His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
