before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
