woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
