My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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