Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
