VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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