i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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