I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
