Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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