brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
