We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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