i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
