just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
whose ass print is on the piano?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
