Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
