I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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