Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
