Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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