the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
