Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
