I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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