is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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