told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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