do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
