every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
