I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I am spending my child support on dildos
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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