first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
