Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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