That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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