we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Terrible idea I love it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
