So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize