you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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