He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
