do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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