It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
that is very illegal...i love you.
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