hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
