I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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