Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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