I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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