I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Success! We fucked roommates!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize