After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
