What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
