I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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