I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
