You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
