how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
