Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
