I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
