If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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