Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
