So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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