Whatcha textin bout Willis?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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