My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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