You can't motorboat a personality
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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