You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
