you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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