i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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