Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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