You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize